Oct 7, 2014

Life is Short

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of you for all the beautiful well wishes my fiancé and I have received. They mean the world to us!

While I was driving home on Sunday afternoon I was going over in my head how I was going to write my next blog post. I had no idea my next blog post was actually going to be about our engagement!

I’ve mentioned a few times before that I’ve been going through an extremely difficult time in my life. I’m finally ready to talk a little bit about why I've been struggling. 

I am sobbing as I type this...

My uncle passed away on Thursday night. He had been in the hospital since May so we knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier, especially for my mom. My uncle and my mom had a very special relationship. She will probably tell you her brother was her favorite person on this earth. 

I will always remember one of the last times I saw my uncle. My mom peaked her head into his hospital room and said, “Hi brother! I brought you a surprise!” He replied, “Is my Heather here?” We had a very nice visit and when we were leaving his nurse was with him. I could hear him telling her, “Today was a great day. That was my niece that came to see me!” I will never forget those words that came from his mouth. 

When someone passes away, everyone comes out and only says good things about that person, even if they had skeletons in their closet. For this man it is so different. We probably couldn't find anything negative to say about him, even if we tried. He really was one of the greatest men to ever live. I always struggle with the fact that it seems like the best ones go way too soon. My friend told me she believes when good or young people die that God has greater work for them to do with Him. I love that. I find comfort in knowing that my uncle is now with the Lord and he is doing even bigger things than he could ever do here with us.

I am sad that I will no longer see my uncle but I feel him with me and I know he is in a much better place. I know we will be together again one day. The last time I saw him I gave him a kiss on his cheek and I told him, “I love you very much.”

My uncle was only 54 years old. He told my dad a few months before he passed away that he was the luckiest man in the world. He said he had the best wife and kids and he had done everything he ever wanted to do. That is huge. Life is so precious and he had accomplished everything he ever wanted to. We can all hope to say that towards the end of our lives. This really made me reflect where I am in my life.

My mom, my uncle and myself.
This was the last photo I took with my uncle.

I was getting this feeling in my gut. Something kept telling me that I deserved so much better and there had to be more to life than what I living day in and day out. I knew something had to be done and I had to make a very important decision. I was at a fork in the road and I had to decide which path to go down - the one that looks safe and comfortable or the one less traveled.

I’ve never actually gone down the road less traveled. I’ve always been safe but this time around I was forced to jump off the ledge.

I had been working for the same company for four years. I had given so much of myself to that job and I was only getting stress and pain in return. I’m not one to burn bridges so I will not go into details. All I will say is that I was made promises and those promises were not met. I felt like I was lied to and taken advantage of. Because of this I left the company.

I have huge dreams and goals for myself and I was not getting any closer to achieving them by staying at that job. I want to look back at the end of my life, like my uncle, and say I have no regrets.

I am fortunate enough to be able to take some time off work. I don’t want to be out of work too long so I am actively looking for new opportunities. In the mean time I am focusing on my family, my fiancé, my health and my blog. 

Thank you all for reading.

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