Jul 21, 2016

Four Years Ago

My mom reminded me that I ran my first 5K four years ago today. Her message to me  from that morning popped up on her Facebook. First of all, I can't believe it's been four years. Second of all, I ran this race only days before my Papa Tony passed away. I remember telling my dad after that I ran that race for my Papa Tony. I wanted him to be proud of me one last time before he left his earth. Third of all, I love that I have this photo {below} with my sister-in-law before she was even my sister-in-law. Her and my brother had recently started dating and I remember I was very cautious about getting close to her, as I am with everyone. Looking back, I wish I wouldn't have been so cautious with her because she's amazing and perfect for my brother.

When I pulled up these photos today, I'll admit, I was shocked and a little depressed at the same time. I've always seen myself as being heavy. I've never thought I looked thin but as I look as these photos I have to ask myself, "What were you thinking?" This was the smallest I had been in a long time and I'm pretty sure I've been fighting to get back to that point since then. I did zero strength training back then. Lift weights? Why? Cardio is what will make you lose weight! I spent hours on the elliptical and obviously, I had started running. I did the Couch to 5K program with a group of girls from church and we all ran the race together. I also remember being completely obsessed with what I ate. 

I sent my close friend these photos and told her how upset I was that I am not this size anymore. She reminded me that so many good things have happened in the past four years and that should mean so much more than my weight. I hadn't even met Stephen at this point. I was with my ex and I was not happy in that relationship. It's true. I'd much rather be happy than be thin. But I am going to continue my journey. I have so much more to accomplish. Let's see where the next four years take me. 

I'm happy to report that my mileage time is dropping slowly. Getting back into running is hard as heck but I'm pushing through it.

It was very nice to finish a mile in under 15 minutes on Monday evening. That felt very good. I know most people hate running on the treadmill but I've always preferred it. Air conditioning just puts me in a better mood.

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